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NataliaDrepina

Natalia Drepina
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Directed & edited by Natalia Drepina.
Starring Natalia Drepina.
Music by Your Schizophrenia.
Jewelry - Thrjar.


Солнце причиняло нестерпимую боль ее глазам. Потому она жила в этом сыром и мрачном доме, с заколоченными окнами. Ее единственными собеседниками были крысы, жуки да мотыльки, залетевшие сюда в поисках света, но заплутавшие в пыльных коридорах. В ночи темной луны, она выбиралась наружу, на ощупь изучая серые бревенчатые стены, напоенные сотнями дождей, ставни, словно переболевшие оспой из-за жуков, ступени, на которых спал ветер - ее верный пёс... Дверь ворчливо скрипела, бормоча вслед предупреждения о том, как неприветлив мир за порогом ее убежища, но она не слушала их, неуверенно ступая вперёд, за крыльцо, где стояла прялка, увитая нитями прошлого. Лишь в эти ночи, она могла прясть паутину своих болезненных воспоминаний. Вытягивая наружу оголённые нервы, тревоги и страхи. Теперь она помнила все смерти, что вынянчила на своих руках, помнила как гасли голоса и цвели болезни, помнила как таяла гнилая плоть, обнажая лунные рельефы костей.


The sun inflicted unbearable pain on her eyes. For this reason, she lived in this damp and gloomy house, with boarded up windows. Her companions were rats, beetles and moths, flown here in search of light, but lost in the dusty corridors. In the nights of the dark moon, she crept out, groping the gray wooden walls filled with hundreds of rains; the shutters, as if they had been affected by smallpox from the beetles; the steps where the wind was sleeping — her faithful dog... The door grumbled warnings about how inhospitable the world was beyond the threshold of her refuge, but she didn't listen, she stepping uncertainly on the porch where the spinning wheel stood, twined with threads of the past. Only on these nights could she spin the web of her painful memories. Pulling out bare nerves, anxieties and fears. Now she remembered all the deaths that she had nursed on her hands, she remembered how the voices silenced and the diseases bloomed... She remembered how rotten flesh melted, exposing the moon's reliefs of bones.


No animals or insects were harmed in the making of this film.
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Going Nowhere

1 min read


We are the reincarnations of one soul, which is still lost in every new life and this unknown and aimless path never ends. This is a song about eternal wanderings through time, about sadness whose quiet voice brightens up loneliness.

Music: Alyra Minayeva. Lyrics: Natalia Drepina (Your Schizophrenia).
Vocals: Natalia Drepina, Alyra Minayeva.
Filmed by Natalia Drepina and Alyra Minayeva.
Edited by Natalia Drepina.
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Closing my eyes, I imagine myself there, in the blue Mirror, which
cherishes the scarlet souls and velvet darkness. There my heart breaks
with a ripe pomegranate, and its tart juice sprinkling my hands and
face, brings back memories… It has been hundreds of years since I left
the gloomy hall, leaving my weak-willed twin to guard your wounded
soul. I spend my sleepless nights and restless days beside a cold dim
mirror which no longer allows me to return to that fragile world where
I was myself. Maybe I became the involuntary guardian of faded shadows
hiding in the reflection… Or am I the shadow of the past?

The involuntary guardian of faded shadows by NataliaDrepinaThe involuntary guardian by NataliaDrepina
My weak-willed twin by NataliaDrepina
Repentance by NataliaDrepinaRemorse by NataliaDrepina


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It seemed to me that in this room it was constantly raining. And the
dim light just looked timidly through the muddy glass, but never
filled this room. Dreams were a gloomy river, in the waters of which I
was sinking: an unknown force attracted me to the bottom, sealed my
throat with mud, not allowing me to scream. I didn’t see anything here
but my senses sharpened,   I felt cold wet hands on my skin… those
fingers recounted my vertebrae and ribs. I slid in the viscous space,
on the mirror surface of sleep, while fear ate my insides…
And only when I fell silent lifelessly in these arms, with wide eyes,
the room spat me out like a dead fish, rejected by depth. 

I felt cold wet hands on my skin... by NataliaDrepina

Mature Content

Embrace the Dusk by NataliaDrepina
Someone sealed my throat with silence by NataliaDrepina

Mature Content

That blue night by NataliaDrepina

Mature Content

Black rain on my cold skin by NataliaDrepina

The mirror surface of sleep by NataliaDrepina Plunging to the bottom of twilight by NataliaDrepina Footsteps in the dark by NataliaDrepina Strange paths by NataliaDrepina
Kissing the darkness by NataliaDrepinaMirror surface of darkness by NataliaDrepina
Secret Circle of Gloomy Embrace by NataliaDrepinaThe shackles of darkness by NataliaDrepina

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Bad Blood is looking for the way out to soak the black earth. Leaves, scarlet as fresh wounds, as if skin were torn off them, feel most acutely for autumn. And it seems that my heart is no longer beating in my chest, but it is fading.
I fall on the asphalt, as if the wind picked me up and left me to die on the side of the road, like other children of autumn. The crows and rooks took pity on me - they pecked out my eyes... And I no longer see how painfully dying October..
I just have to listen to the alarming birds voices and winds lullabies.
Cold binds the body and mind. And the rain will not quench our thirst of death.
In the mass grave, like the nameless soldiers of autumn, we find peace while our red wounds fade and our flesh blackens with ulcers...


Дурная кровь ищет пути наружу, чтобы напоить черную землю. Листья, алые как свежие раны,  словно с них содрали кожу,  острее чувствуют осень. И мне кажется, будто моё сердце уже не бьётся в груди, но увядает.
Я падаю на асфальт, словно меня, как и других детей осени, подхватил ветер и бросил умирать на обочине дороги.
Вороны и грачи сжалились надо мной -  выклевали мои глаза... И я больше не вижу как мучительно умирает октябрь.
Мне осталось только слушать тревожные голоса птиц и колыбельные ветров.
Холод сковывает движения и мысли. И дожди уже не утолят в нас жажду смерти.
 В братской могиле, как безымянные  солдаты осени, мы обретаем покой,
пока выцветают наши красные раны, пока чернеет язвами наша плоть...


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Featured

Your Schizophrenia - Reminiscence by NataliaDrepina, journal

Going Nowhere by NataliaDrepina, journal

The involuntary guardian of faded shadows by NataliaDrepina, journal

The mirror surface of sleep by NataliaDrepina, journal

Keen Sense of Autumn. by NataliaDrepina, journal